You have decided that you want to bring up your children Wiccan or Pagan. This can be challenging but rewarding. Yes, you can instill in them Wiccan and Pagan values. They might grow up to practice Wicca or Paganism in their adult lives. Or not. Some of you may remember being brought up in a household of the Abrahamic beliefs in which religion was law and them some! I remember not finding finding solace or meaning in Christianity and could not swallow the belief. But I was dragged to church and forced fed the religion. It was such a relief to leave home, go to college and eventually find the the Goddess. I am a very spiritual person, and to find something like that spoke to my soul. As adults your children will have their own decisions to be made, and that has to be OK. In fact as children they are making up their minds right now. So, with that realization how do you approach raising your children as Wiccan or Pagan?
You are practicing, but especially during your children’s early years give yourself some grace. Time is tight. If you are single and depending on that income, you have have work and responsibility for your household. Even if you are a couple, you may rely on that second income. You may not have the time or energy to do much with your practice. Decide on what is important and do that. It may be lighting a candle or reading stories to your children.
If available take your children to circles that accept and cater to children. If a circle like that is not available, consider starting one yourself. Allow them to participate in some rituals even if it a family ritual. Celebrate rites of passage. A Unitarian Universalist church is another place to check out. Unitarian Universalist churches encourage one to explore his/her own spiritual path whatever that path is.
Another consideration in this world of ignorance and intolerance is secrecy. Think about what message this secrecy gives to your children about being Wiccan and Pagan. Is what you are doing shameful and is this why it has got to be kept secret? This is is a question your children might have. Some practices are kept secret until you are an adult and an initiate. I suggest that if you can, do not make being Wiccan or Pagan a closely guarded secret. It may not be in your best interest, either to flaunt it. But be ready to defend your beliefs to others and to your children. Be ready to talk to your child if some misinformed child tells him/her that what you and your children are doing is evil. You may want to have a conversation with the misinformed child and parent(s). Think this through and make it a positive experience. You may want to invite them over and show them that you have a normal family life. Have communication with the principal of the school. You may have the luxury to and decide to home school your children. Do this because you want to instill Pagan or Wiccan values to your children and not to protect them from the world. You will need to teach them to stand up to ignorance and intolerance. These are some things to consider.
Gasp! Allow your children to explore world wide religious practices. Provide resources and check with your local library. A Unitarian Universalist church may have a children’s educational program. Teaching children not so much what to think but how to think critically is important as they make decisions about their own spirituality.
Provide a safe space for communication with your children. Talk with them from day one even if it is cooing and saying their name. Be available to discuss what happened during their day and to answer questions. Be ready to talk about big questions like about why we are here, sex and death. Be honest. Admit to not knowing the answer to every question.
What about things like TV, video games and the internet? Monitor them. PBS with shows like Nature, NOVA and the kids’ show Molly of Denali are good suggestions. Teaching your children critical thinking skills and talking with them about what they see and learn will go a long way to helping them make sense of all of this.
Teach them as much as you can about nature. Take them on nature walks. Supply them with a magnifying glass so that they can see the intricacies of nature up close. Let them discover the wonder of the natural world. Revel with them as you look at the moon, stars, clouds or a sunrise. Instruct them not to look directly at the sun.
Teach them about magick. With assistance from you, they can perform or help perform magick. Know that their brains are not like adult brains and that their ability to concentrate is also not like that of an adult. So the kind of magick that they can do is different from that which an adult can do. Teaching them to do magick at their level will help them with confidence to do powerful magick as adults. If they are not ready to safely use candles, provide them with a battery operated candle. This way when they see you lighting your candle, they can safely light their own.
Enjoy learning more about teaching Wiccan and Pagan life to your children!
On the day of this post the moon is a skinny waxing crescent. This is a good time to do magick that will cause something in your life to grow.
I will continue to post on Wednesdays.
Auburn Greene
Suggested Investigation:
Crosson, Monica. The Magickal Family: Pagan Living in Harmony with Nature, Llewellyn, 2017.
Johnston, Hannah E., Dr. Children of the Green: Raising Our Kids in Pagan Traditions, Moon Books, 2014.
O’Gaea, Ashleen. Family Wicca: Practical Paganism for Parents and Children, New Page Books, 2006.
O’Gaea, Ashleen. Raising Witches: Teaching the Wiccan Faith to Children, New Page Books, 2002.
Starhawk. Circle Round: Raising Children in the Goddess Traditions, Bantam, 2000.
Wigington, Patti. “Pagan Parenting.” Learn Religions, April 5, 2023, learnreligions.com/pagan-parenting-2561515.
My Inner Wiccan 